Dear Worth,
I can’t really say that I thought you made a difference in my life. People tell me I have you but it’s a feeling I never get. You have never swayed my mind to better things so what’s the point?
I’m sorry that I don’t listen to you, it’s not intentional. You could mean so much to me if I would just listen but here I am. I have torn myself apart without you and as the days go by it only gets darker.
Without you I desire to be alone and I know that is wrong. I feel this great pressure in my chest and I can smell something that just reminds me of emotion. I regret every second I spend without you but every second is another to late.
I can’t function anymore. I tell myself to distance myself and I do it every time. It cripples my heart and destroys everything I thought before. Then I have to start again. The thoughts in my mind don’t reassure me. I could be great but I hear a whisper in my ear saying ‘She doesn’t actually care for you.’ I feel like a child having to be told the same thing everyday but it really does keep the beasts away.
I can’t stand myself. I can’t take care of myself because of you. I neglect what’s good for me almost intentionally because I think nothing matters. I truly am a child, nearly crippled when I’m on my own and I can’t do what’s best for me like I need someone to tell me everyday. My thoughts only get the best of me.
